In memory of Esmin Elizabeth Green, who died so unnecessarily in a New York hospital emergency room; where even those who saw, simply looked away and moved along.

Like sandwiches? Then, go now....head on over to the sandwich party at Hillbilly Please. Pick yourself up a new sandwich from one of the links, or add one of your own to share!

Go enjoy!

"Hope is a good thing; maybe even the best of things! (Shawshank Redemption)

Sam and I were traumatized last week, at the loss of our Jesse. Our sorrow is continuing at present, and I know that things will feel differently here for quite some time yet.

These two little dogs marked an era of our lives in marriage to each other.

Just as we fostered Victoria for nearly a decade, Jesse was the little brown doggie of our lives for a decade.

The stages of grief are normal and healthy; but, god they are painful!! Sometimes, some of us can become stuck in one of the stages for long periods of time. I think Sam and I both have come to realize this in dealing with the great losses in our lives from before we met.

I know my sorrows have controlled me from time to time. More likely than not, this would be because of the mental health diagnoses I manage; but in reality, I do believe that some of us deal with grief more often than others. Many of us have faced great losses early on; much sooner than anyone should have to lose anyone or anything. Sometimes those deep sorrows become lasting, and cloud our view of joy; because joy does come to us all in portions, and pure joy is often so fleeting that we honestly don't always have time to digest such magnificence before it has rushed away again.

I returned home yesterday from Charlottesville; where I met people with whom I've been in touch via email for quite some time now. I've mostly completed my part of the interviews for our book project. I feel blessed and enriched for having spent time with these folks. And, I believe the project we are working on together will keep us bonded for years to come. We share some common sorrows and grief; and I'm certain our stories will reflect such.

I don't feel quite as alone in the world as I used to. With age and opportunity, I have learned that there are so many people who do understand and who do care when I'm hurting inside. And, I know that I care when others hurt. It's a damn raw deal at times. But I believe, one of a thousand lessons we learn in life is that it's much easier to build bridges and mend our differences with others when we realize we're all in this thing together. Those who don't learn, or refuse to try, may grow more bitter as they age...so I think of hope. And I try to hope, even when I don't feel it. I have to believe it's there....it's the way I survive.

I am sad now, but I have learned well to exercise hope when the darkness comes; because I have come to believe that after sorrow, some joy will return....perhaps not the pure joy that eludes us all, but refreshment, and ease from pain...yeah, that kind.

It has all happened so fast. Within a matter of two days...where am I, and what happens now?

Jesse girl died between 12:30am and 1:00 this morning. Our wonderful vet. stayed with her at the clinic from when we took her in last evening until she died. She wouldn't leave her alone because she knew how precious she was to us, and she also worked on her for 3 hours; trying to get her transfused and get fluids in her....but to no avail.

It hurts us so bad. Sam and I both have cried all morning.

The house feels strange today, and we are all feeling strange as well.  Even Pickle (Vic's cat) has been laying in Jesse's spot...he was always so close to her...cleaning her ears and such. I think he felt she was like his mom or something.

Sam and I buried her down by the apple orchard in a sunny spot because Jesse always loved the sunshine.

Jesse turned 10 years old this year on the 4th of July.

Time doesn't wait for anyone or anything.

Sam and I took Jesse into the vet. tonight. The doctor is keeping her to give her fluids and run some tests. She is a very sick little girl, and I'm just sorry I didn't get her there earlier today. We were told on Saturday that she was run down; and to give her a few days; so I thought a few more days and she'd have her strength back. But, tonight she couldn't walk  at some point, and we took her in for emergency after hours care.

I am surely lonely without a member of our household here tonight. I love you, my Jesse girl!

Please, send good vibes for my doggie if you will.

Many thanks.

Wow! What a week it's been already. Wait, today is only Monday. Yeah, well it started mid-week of last week; and lasted through the weekend and into today.

Our Jesse gal is very sick with what we think, and the doctor seems to think is a urinary tract infection.

Bentley, while taking heart medication that costs $50 monthly, (all together) is quite full of himself and doing okay for now; all but the gagging now and then from the lack of blood flow to and from his little heart.

Shit I hate this!

When Tim Russert died, I began to concern myself with my weight issues again. I have been carefully monitoring what I eat and have only lost about 4lbs. so far. My thyroid is beginning to get out of balance, which could possibly be a partial reason for my inability to lose weight as quickly as I once did. Also, the arthritic knees makes walking for exercise virtually impossible at this point. Ain't life just a friggin' bowl of cherries sometimes?

Sam and I both had yearly physicals a couple weeks ago. My blood sugar, pressure, liver, and cholesterol are all within normal range. My triglycerides are 100 points too high. Sam's on the other hand, are 175 points too high. I suspect that would be because Sam is a smoker. His cholesterol is also too high. I know what my issues are in regard to the triglycerides....

Age. It's fascinating to me that on average, people live well into their 80s now if their health is good, and yet that seems like so little time considering that planet earth is billions of years old. I mean, how many of us know anyone who has lived well beyond a hundred? Why are we here for such a short time...in the scheme of things?

Some of you may remember that I worked for the Comfort Inn Hotels, locally, for about 10 months.? I learned that the general manager died last Tuesday following brain surgery; in which the surgeon removed a tumor from her brain, found only 3 weeks ago. She was 61 years old. I need to go visit the folks at the hotel and talk with the woman's children. But hell, I don't know what to say....

I am no stranger to the experiences of losing people; but, that doesn't make the whole thing any easier to grasp every time the ending of a life happens.

It just isn't a cool Monday. And sometimes life isn't cherries.

I hope that by Friday my Jesse will be better, as I am planning to travel to Charlottesville to work on my part of the book we are publishing. It would be awesome for the week to end on a good note; with the weekend beginning on a good one as well.

How are things with you??

A local friend of mine here in town has this really cool daughter who is much in love at present to her new husband. Newlyweds are so "it" in my book. They always seem to be thrilled with life and full of hope and promise. Love will always do that to a soul, I think.

Anyway, this gal I've never met; but she is living in Belgium, and seems to adore the place as much as she adores her new life with her husband. I am happy for this couple, and I smile big as I read her MySpace blogs about her life there.

This particular blog entry struck me on many levels. I wanted to share with you this young woman's views on being a "citizen of the world".

Share your thoughts; please do...

*Not meant to be funny...and not funny at all. But, sadly, there is truth to be found in this little tale.

A little boy goes to his dad and asks, "What is politics?" The dad answers, "Well son, let me try to explain it to you in this way :

"I am the head of the family; so let's call me, The President. Your mother is the administrator of the money; so we'll call her, The Government. We are here to take care of your needs so we will call you, The People. Let us think of your nanny as, The Working Class. And we will call your baby brother, The Future. Now think about that and see if it makes sense."

So the little boy goes off to bed thinking about what his dad said to him. Later that night, the young lad hears his baby brother crying and he gets up to check on him. He finds that the baby has severely soiled his diaper.

The boy goes to his parent's room, only to find that his mother is asleep. Not wanting to wake her, he goes to the nanny's room. The door to the nanny's room was locked. The boy peeks in the keyhole and sees his father in bed with the nanny. He gives up and goes back to bed.

The next morning the little boy says to his father, "Dad, I think I understand the concept of politics now." The father looks at his child and says, "Good son; tell me in your own words what you think politics is all about." The little boy replies, "The President is screwing The Working Class while The Government is sound asleep. The People are being ignored, and The Future is in deep shit."