Last evening a lady came into the hotel. She was all bundled up; wearing an old coat and scarf. Her tam covered what I knew to be long hair, completely. She had come to me from a motel across the way where the young man working the desk wouldn't receive her because, he said he had no accomodations to suit her needs. When he phoned me, he informed me that she was an old lady needing a room at a reasonable rate and wanted to pay cash. "Sure, send her over", I said. He never told me she was local, or that she was actually only 54 years of age.

There is a policy in our area understood by all the local hotel/motel desk clerks; that, a person residing within close proximity of the hotel in which they wish to stay, must pay for their room with their personal credit card . This rule is in place because it is the way hotel/motel owners and managers have decided to try and control situations, in which younger folks use hotel rooms for periods of time, to make cheap crank; using the small coffee pots located in each room, and score their sales anonymously.

The lady walked up to my desk, and with a very "down home" accent, and aristocratic tone, asked, "do you have a room for sale for $55.99 that I can pay for with cash?" I could tell she was holding it together with everything in her being. She did seem like an old soul to me. I guess I can understand why the young man from the motel across the way really could have mistaken her to be elderly.

It was obvious to me, the woman was middle-aged before I looked at her license. I am certain that would be because I am middle-aged. Gah.

She seemed very agitated, and she was taken aback by the other desk clerk who would not allow her to pay for a room in cash. The lady, I will call her, "S", said she needed a place to stay to get her thoughts together. It had been a bad day. When I looked at her driver's license, I realized why the young man turned her out into the cold from the motel across the way. She lived within 10 minutes of both; my hotel, and his motel. I looked at "S" and just knew I was making the right decision when I said, "well of course I have a room for sale; for exactly $55.99; and you can pay cash." She seemed relieved.

"S" seemed to have some education; perhaps not beyond highschool. I wasn't really sure. She counted her cash slowly and methodically, making sure to give me an exact amount down to the penny. I asked her if this was the only money she had in her possession; because I would have thrown in a few dollars of my own in order that she might keep some cash on her person in case she needed it later. "S" claimed to have more money than what she had paid for the room, in her possession.

I spoke her first name aloud. I told "S" hers was a lovely name. She motioned for me to hush by placing her forefinger to her lips, and pointed to an elderly couple who were warming themselves by the fire in our lobby. I had spoken with the couple earlier in the day, as they had checked in to the hotel much earlier. A lovely couple. They were sharing a moment together in our lobby before leaving the hotel for dinner. 

At one point, while standing at the desk looking over the registration form, "S" said, "let's say theoretically, someone may want to stay longer than one night at your hotel. How long would someone be able to stay before their permanent residence, like the one there on my license, would no longer be considered their place of residence?" I began to wonder where she had heard the word "theoretically". I made some explanation to her. I told her she could speak with our general manager the next morning about the possibility of a longer stay at a more affordable rate. She was content with this, thanked me, and asked me again to show her to her room.

"S" didn't have much knowledge of hotels. I mean, she wasn't aware of the complimentary deluxe continental breakfast deal, or the fact that no matter what time a person checks in to a hotel, the check-out time is still the same. I agreed with her that if she checked in at 6:36pm., she ought to be able to stay until 6:36pm. the next day; a full 24 hours in order to get her money's worth! Hell, I think that would be fair, don't you? I explained to her that the reason our check-out time is noon the following day is so the cleaning crew will have time to get all the rooms cleaned and ready for the next visitors who will be joining us the next evening. "S"seemed content with that explanation.

I was concerned she may be hungry. I phoned her room to see if she was settling in ok, and I offered her some fruit from our kitchen. She wanted to know how much extra money she would have to pay for the fruit. "The fruit comes with", I explained. She was happy with an apple. I took the apple down to her room. I was not very busy at the time "S" checked in, so I had a few minutes to spare. While I stood at her door with her apple, she asked, and was also very happy to learn she would be able to have a cup of coffee the next morning at no extra charge. I had already told her out by the desk about our breakfast. She smiled. "I like a cup of coffee in the mornings, said "S".

"You know, I am not here for a vacation", said "S". I am here because I have found myself in an emergency situation." I felt at this point, I needed to inform "S" of a couple of shelters located up town. She said she had already thought of such places, but she declined any offer to help her with those. "I haven't lived with a man in years and years", "S" said. "There are people who can abuse us other than a boyfriend or spouse." I went on to tell her there was another kind of shelter if she needed a place to stay long-term. She said she understood, thanked me for my kindness, and said she would wait to see what the morning would have in store for her. With this, we said our goodnights.

I worked over last night and didn't leave until after 11:30pm. The phone rang just as I was starting to leave. Sure enough, it was "S", calling from her room down the hall. She wanted to inform me that either I would need to provide her with an extra blanket or turn the heat up in her room. I explained to her that the heater was located in the boxed compartment under her window. "Well, said "S" in her aristocratic tone, the front desk clerk should inform people upon check-in that they can control the temperature of their room, and the location of the thermostats". I really didn't know what to say. I told her I was sorry I didn't remember to tell her. She was content with my reply.

"S" phoned once more before I proceeded to leave the building. She wanted to know if the light she saw on the wall up next to the ceiling in her room was a camera. By this time, the desk clerk who relieves me of my day's duty was there to answer her call. I heard him explaining to her as I was walking out of the building, that what she was seeing was the light on her smoke alarm, and that all the rooms have the same alarms in them; and, that they are for the customers' protection to alert them in case of a fire in the building.

Today was my regular day off work. I've been wondering where "S" may be sleeping tonight; and, if she enjoyed her coffee this morning.

I figure I have a choice. We all do. All the time, no matter how we feel, we have a choice.

As you all know, and I know as well, we are human; and our feelings come and our feelings go. Things have been pretty crummy lately. My heart has been very broken, and it is sore. It seems I have been unable to do much about the state of affairs in my life recently. However, I realize even when I don't know what to do, or when I feel helpless to do much of anything about anything, I still have choices.

I could go on about all the crummy happenings of late, but I figure what's the point? For the most part, I took to my bed this weekend. That is depression, my friends! Sooo, I have muddled through and I am making a choice. I am on my way again to join the land of the living this week. It may not be great, but I will do the best I can and my best is all I got. Maybe things will get better...just maybe.

Song: Dogs In The Yard ~ Lyrics by: Paul McCrane

I want to be bad
And not even care
I want to go out of my head somewhere
I want run crazy
Like the dogs in the yard
I want to cut the rope
But it's getting so much harder

I think I'll play poker
Stay out every night
Throw stones at the water
In the morning light

I want to be lazy like the dogs in the yard
Why can't I fly tonight?
Why can't I sleep all morning?
I'm going out of my mind tonight
That's where I'm going
That's where I'm going

Gonna have a good time
Before it's too late
Come on, baby, let's go uptown and celebrate
Gonna celebrate!

We're gonna run crazy
Like the dogs in the yard
We're gonna fly tonight
We're gonna sleep all morning

We're going out of our minds tonight
That's where we're going
That's where we're going.

When I've had a really bad day, like today was a really bad day, this famous song from the musical "Fame" gives me a sense of perspective in a twisted sorta' way... Is your sound on? Join me in the memories; won't you?

You may see the Christmas 2006 category here. Photos will also be flashing around on my flickr badge You will see a few of the photos I deemed worth sharing. You can view them as a slideshow if you like.

Without a digital camera, the essence of the beauty of our tree is difficult to capture. These pictures actually do not do the tree justice. It was absolutely gorgeous; if I must say so myself. Four strands of 150 red and white lights adorned this tree. I'm late in sharing these. Oh well, what the hey...hope you like.

Regarding my earlier note when I mentioned my opinion on political agendas, I would like to add that I feel very uncomfortable with our president's determination in this war, and that has nothing to do with the fact that I am a registered democrat.

I believe, as I have previously stated in other entries, the decisions made when the 1st troops went into Iraq, have opened a pandora's box which will never be closed. I am feeling very pessimistic today about a lot of things. This is simply the biggest thing.

I realize there were great numbers of  people killed during World War II. How can such a thing make me feel any better about what is happening now? Americans are still in Germany. How long will Americans remain in Iraq? Our soldiers are without a doubt, the bravest men and women in the world. Some want to be there. My heart aches for those who do not.

War is hell and should happen only as a last resort. There are people who say, "something had to be done about the evil of Saddam." I can honestly say that I agree with them. Something should have been done when we were there the first time around; when elder president Bush sent troops over in 1990-91.

Though I believe Saddam and and his sons had to be stopped, I still have a difficult time making any connection to him concerning the tragedy of 9/11 in our country. No one person has proven to me that there is a connection. However, whether one believes we should have moved into Iraq with our "shock & awe" effects or not, a thought out plan for this enormous act of war, would have been a more sane way to handle the situation after 9/11 in my thinking. But what do I know? Nada. I know nothing at this point. What do you think about where we are going with this war?

Again, I see too many houses divided. We, and the present administration, must consider the welfare of our troops, their families, and the innocent people in Iraq, who want this all to end. I won't write about this again because I feel blogging about the horrible situation we are in, won't change a thing. It only makes me frustrated.

I think I need to go and find a corner someplace to hide for the remainder of the evening. Is there a full moon this weekend?

We are having a weather situation here. Not so bad yet; but, periodically when the weather is nasty, our electricity will go off for a few seconds and come back on. I was almost finished typing a lengthy entry here when this happened a few minutes ago. Dammit to hell! It happened so fast, I could not hit the "save" in time. I am sorely pissed. I am tired now.

Will try to recapture my thoughts on my fun day with Sam yesterday, at another time.

The weather you ( scroll down and see lovely picture of iced tree limbs) had in Texas (see her January 15th entry) last week, is on its way to our town y'all...

Don't think it will be as bad or last very long; but, who the hell knows? I'm just mad that I lost my writings.

What a newsflash to wake up to on a Sunday morning! The thing that has always been puzzling to me is the semantics used when speaking of missiles. War games. Testing games. Unfortunately, the games are out of control. So many houses divided...leaving little room for hope of peace. Political agendas should be the last thing on any of our minds at this point. Of course, this is only my humble opinion...

It seems this legendary rock star can't control himself enough to refrain from sharing his militant, far-right-winged views, when asked to perform on stage. He has a certain amount of celebrity power and has been allowed the freedom to make a fool of himself. This is only my humble opinion, of course. All I want to say to his most recent performance is, Mr. Nugent, it is shameful for you to continue with your militant agenda by using the glory and power you have gotten from an industry that made you, when the majority of the brothers and sisters of your industry would find your miserable viewpoint extremely offensive and non-entertaining. Shame on you Mr. Nugent! Shame on you!

I know he isn't reading my blog. You didn't think I believed he was, did you? It just makes me feel better to speak to him as if he is reading, okay? Shut up.

The following is not directly related to my rantings about Ted Nugent. However, there may be a real relation. Another blogger has written a very profound entry concerning the time in her life when she searched for the purpose or point of life; and how she will be there for her children in their time of searching. I commented on the entry as I was very impressed with the way she expressed her thoughts. I have some further thoughts on the matter. Imagine that.

I believe lessons are being learned everyday. I mean there really is no choice. We are here, and whether we even want to learn is beside the point. Lessons are inevitable. So it is with love. We are here. We are going to love. We love our children, our friends, our spouses, or partners...Sometimes this love will come naturally; without effort. Sometimes love will be a choice we make requiring much effort.

The same is true with another emotion. Hate often comes very naturally because of something that has happened or been done to us. It is difficult for some to imagine that a soul would actually work to hate others; but, I believe there are those on our planet who wake everyday with that very purpose in mind. They will determine for themselves how much destruction, pain, or discontent they can bring to others for the day.

Yes, lessons are learned just because we are here, regardless of the reason we are here. Everyday we are faced with choices to follow one or the other; the paths of love or hate. Everyday we see examples of both. The very best of us can lead the very worst of us, and vise versa. When I read this blogger's views, the thing that touched me most, was that she brought out the fact that even if she knew the point, she would go on living her life. How real this is!!

For me, truth is in the seeking; and I believe, is very relative to what is going on in our lives. To say I know anything of certainty concerning why we are here, would be foolish of me. It would be awfully self-righteous of me to be so certain, because I see through a glass darkly now. The only thing certain is that we are here. Of course, you may be familiar with the study of philosophy, which asks one to entertain the idea that one cannot even be certain being here is a fact. Regardless, wherever we are, there are lessons being learned. There are choices being made. Maybe these are the point. Who knows? "Rock on all you lovers! Rock on!" 

I swear I can't believe the amount of laundry I do each week. There are only two of us living here now. Where the hell is it coming from, and why am I not keeping up as well anymore, and why do the socks keep teasing me with their hide & seek game?

I used to wash dishes 3 or 4 times a day. I stood at the kitchen sink for what seemed like hours on end. Thank God for my new dishwasher!! It surely takes a load off me. In just a few minutes I can have it loaded, and when the dishes are washed, I can unload and put them away in another few minutes.

I can remember a time in my life when I could clean our whole 3 bedroom brick ranch house with basement, in one damn day; in just a few hours even. Now, we live in a 3 bedroom doublewide without basement. To clean the way I like to clean, I must rest a lot in between chores. It takes me more than just a few hours nowadays...more like a couple days!

I know I am moaning. All you women out there who do everything, or most everything, feel free to moan right along with me, as we get up the garbage, fill the dogs' water bowls for the umpteenth time, take the dogs out, pay the bills, send the thank you notes, make sure the package gets in the mail to the kid, call the parents, plan the menu for dinner, cook the dinner, throw the wet clothes in the dryer, clean the vent, dust the furniture, call the furnace guy and the vet, and switch appointment days at the doctor's office. Then we'll fold and put away the dry clothing, clean the sinks and toilets in both bathrooms, and the tubs and showers.

These are the daily things I do on my days off work, or, in the morning before I go to work at the hotel. The deep cleaning of carpets, purging of files, etc. and so on, comes every 2-3 months 'round here because I'm crazy that way.

I need work done on the outside of our lovely home as well. I want to have a gravel driveway created, with wooden timbers on either side for our vehicles. There's way too much mud around where we park at present, and it's pissing me off. In behind the drive which will be in front of our house, I want to plant some greenery/shrubs, to beautify the area around the gravel. There are certain types of shrubery that can be planted now; and what with the mild weather we are having, it should be a fine time.

I had been working 32 hours a week at the hotel when I asked my employer to cut my hours back. She has allowed me to have Mondays off for the month of January. I would that she keep my schedule the way it has been this month, 3 days of work and 4 days off. I work a lot at home as well, and I kinda' need my schedule at the hotel to remain the way it is at present. We shall see what my future holds there...

I've been limping quite a bit of late. My knees have gotten worse. They are both done for! I know I should have checked with another specialist about having something done about all my suffering before now; but, I have put the whole thing off because I realize that even after surgery, the physical therapy will be another kind of hurdle to get through. Also, with Sam's work schedule the way it is, I will have very limited help here at home while recuperating. So far, within the past 8 years or so, I have gone for physical therapy for my knees, as well as other parts of my body. I have taken treatments of cartilage shots in my knees, and before those I had cortisone shots a couple different times. I resort to wearing knee bandages when I go to work, so that when I do have to be standing for a length of time, I can manage better. It is getting to be more hellish each day! Sooo, I am going to phone my family doctor and ask him to refer me to an orthopedic surgeon at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center, in Winston Salem, North Carolina. I suppose I could check around to see if a home health nurse could come and assist me during the days following my surgery. I dunno'; I simply dread this whole process. However, things are getting bad enough for me that I don't have much choice. Something must be done.

Of course I do make time, I must make time to come here. I come to this place, this haven, where my personal computer sits atop an antique dining table made desk, which belonged to my great-grandmother Sally Mae many years ago. When I am here, I think. I study. I learn and wonder. I reach out to the world from here, and the world reaches back to me. I discover through reading about the lives of others within the blogging communities, that whether I am in misery or full of joy, I am not alone. For this, and for all of you, I am grateful. Goodnight.