He has whined and cried all through Christmas. He's spent most of his time under our bed. Bentley has arthritis. He is in some kind of pain again. We went through this with him a while back and the vet. gave me steroids for him; we kept him confined and still for over a week, and he snapped out of it, all but a little wobble as he walked, in his hind legs.

I began weeping a few moments ago because he is weeping. I don't want to have him put to sleep; not yet, not now. Bentley is 10 years old. He has been a most delightful little fellow. Very smart and very beautiful. Big brown eyes that are full of knowing.

During his youthful days, he jumped up and down on those little legs foolishly; of course he wouldn't have known that it would hurt much later. Whenever anyone came by for a visit or whenever anything got him really excited, up and down he'd go on those little legs. I tried to control some of his jumping back then, but it was hard to do. Now he suffers.

Sam believes he may have pulled a muscle in his back somehow because he seems to be walking without much effort. It is that when he moves a certain way, he squeals in pain.

I feel so awful. I also feel guilty because I should have spent more time in training him not to jump and carry on so much. In my own defense though, I tried. Sam spoils every animal he touches and he has spoiled the two we have now--rotten! So, as bad as I feel about Bentley, I hold Sam responsible too, that we didn't do more for him in the way of training early on. This is my take on the thing, and I'm sticking to it.

Bentley's mom and dad were show dogs; he very well could have been. He had all the makings of a show dog. I'm pissed at myself for not insisting we go that route with him.

He's my baby and I love him. I want his pain to go away. I don't want to face having him put to sleep; not just now. Please God, help our Bentley boy to feel better.