Sometimes I realize I am just not okay. I want to be well and okay at those moments; but, I simply am not. My moods shift around at times to my own amazement. They can catch me off guard. Every now and then, a word, or an action can cause me to sink. If I am lucky, I can pick myself back up momentarily; if not, my mood can drag along for hours or days. I hate admitting this to myself, but I must. If one is not honest with themselves, they really have nothing to go on.

What has always helped me is to remain aware of myself. I know that much of what I go through is chemical; and yet, I can use what I have learned through the years to manage my reactions to things. I don't always remember to reason things out when I become moody or much too reflective. Who really does? Not many people walk around with a little notepad and pen, writing down the thing that upset or confused them, and then spend 5 or so minutes figuring out why they think they may have acted or reacted a certain way, or what thing put them in a certain mood, or state of mind. Hell, most of the time, when I make a store list, I forget to bring it along with me to the store. I can see myself remembering to bring my little therapy notes for whatever may occur. I can, however, do my best to relax, breath, and WAIT-- before I allow something or someone to trigger my mood toward the negative.

I placed a tree in my kitchen window tonight. My kitchen sink sits cornered, so that my two windows meet one another in a V-shape, with the sink actually sitting at the opened end of the V, leaving lots of space for the tree to sit in the windows behind the sink. Red, green, and white lights adorn my kitchen sink tree. It can be seen from the outside passersby from either window. Coolness...my first decoration so far. Sam has yet to get excited about the season, but then I didn't put my tree there just for him. It makes me smile.

Sometimes the things that may seem insignificant to some, can bring the most delight to others. I have troubles this time of year, I do. However, I intend to look for something magical in every moment of this season. So often, I forget to live in the moment, seeing the positives as I should. I think too much; always have. I pledge to remind myself as I write this post, to live in the moment in which I find myself, as much as possible, and to look for the magical within the ordinary. What do you pledge for yourselves this season? I challenge you to name one magical thing each day in your life from now until the week of Christmas. Won't you join me?