I attend a community church of no particular denomination. We are a mix of denominations. I have been a poor excuse for representing myself as a regular attender. I hit and miss services. When I can manage, I sing with the group who leads the congregation in worship through song. I just recently became a member of the fellowship committee. We are the fun group; the people who organize activities throughout the year, proposing to bring people together for fellowship with one another other than during church time. 

This church is not traditional; in that we meet in the auditorium of one of our local highschools. There is no building yet, though the church has purchased land for the purpose of building. However, the building will not be a traditional church even when it is constructed. No alters or pews; simply a very basic building with a variety of rooms to accomodate classes of various ages, and one larger area where the main worship will take place, along with the sermon. A variety of people come to this church. There is a mesh of folks varying from the very wealthy to the very poor; most of us range in between the two. Most also, are 40-something, last of the baby boomers gang.

I firmly believe a person has the right to work out their own salvation in or out of the church. I am less interested in organized religion now in my life than I ever was. However, when I make it to church, I go as a discipline. I think of it as a way to say, "thanks God, for taking care of me again this past week". I believe that I have to live my life all through the week, thinking, and doing, and simply "being" who I am, even if these things don't fit with what some people interpret as Christian. I can't put God in a box by trying to live up to a certain standard someone else has set, and I do not believe I do this just because I attend church. Truth be known, I don't always feel as though I fit in the church I have been attending, but, I do believe whatever way we choose to think of God in worship, we receive blessings that meet whatever efforts we put into our thoughts. Though, I of all people do understand there are dark times in all our lives that efforts cannot seem to help at a particular moment...It is at those crucial times when we need to take hold of our faith in whatever way that we can. God is actually closer when we feel God is farther away from us. I have been told this; however, for various reasons and happenings in my life, I have come to believe it to be absolutely true.

I am on my way out to a Thanksgiving dinner with these church folks; they average 70 or so in number. I made my famous homemade potato salad and deviled eggs. I'm in charge of a Bingo game for prizes. We are not playing for money--just prizes, that I, and a couple others have gotten together. It should be fun.

I'm trying to keep my chin up about the holidays. I face the possibility I won't see my daughter. Sometimes this thought makes things very dark for me. Then again, I always go through a bit of depression this time of year. I pick myself up and go on. I have to...

I cannot say whether I will always attend this particular church. I can, however, say that I haven't yet given up on my faith in love. This is universal and it sustains me, whether I'm in a church building or not. I'm off to dinner...