I couldn't not invite her. I miss Victoria. However, I have stopped emailing her. I had decided to back off and leave her be. She has to get through some of her own darkness without me, I know. It is difficult for me to back off; as it would be for any parent who loves their child. The only people who could possibly understand where I am with all this concerning Victoria, are those folks who really wanted children and for whatever reason, did not have their own biological children. Instead, they adopted or fostered children who became as close to them as any biological child could be. This is us. This may be some of you...

I don't mean any offense to my own family members who feel I have been terribly hurt; and are happy to see me backing off from Victoria. I have to do what feels right.

I sent out an email to Vic a few minutes ago; asking her to return a concordance she had borrowed some time ago. Also, I told her I want her to have all the collages' she created that I had framed for her years ago. Finally, I told her I will be preparing Thanksgiving dinner on Wednesday because I have elected to work at the hotel on Thursday. I told her she is welcomed to be home with us for dinner, as always. I wasn't gonna' do this. I had to do this...

Some of you also may know what it feels like to be fostered by parents other than your own. You would understand the sense of loss one must be feeling at this time of year, who has been rejected, negelected, and abused by her own biological family. I had to assure Victoria, she is always going to be welcomed "home".