I've gotten some rest this evening. The meds are kicking in a bit. I have a problem with resting when I need to. I fight rest so often. Life would be much better for me if I were to take my rest as needed, I am certain. I work on this issue all the time.

Another thing I do quite often is check my spelling of words. I never mispelled words in school. I won spelling championships and all, yet I check my spelling always, it seems. I think it's the ocd. thing that kicks in with me. There will always be those times when a word doesn't "look" as if it should be spelled the way it is.

Well, at least I don't check the stove a thousand times to make certain I've turned it off; (2 or 3 times, tops!) and, I don't check more than once to make certain the doors are locked at night, (well, maybe twice) or before I leave the house. I'm not afraid I will break my mother's back if I happen to step on the crack in the sidewalk. (sometimes I skip the cracks anyway) I guess checking my spelling of words even when I know I have spelled them correctly, is not the worst thing I could do...

Of course there are also those times when I'm feelin' rough due to a crazy ear infection or something; and I make stupid mistakes with words, (synonyms & such) using them incorrectly for the moment. I always catch myself later. I guess this is a good thing; I mean it's good that I realize when I've made mistakes, whatever the reason I made them.

A friend of mine expressed that it's tough to always concentrate, or create, or even make sense when you are putting it all out there for others to see. I suppose this is true; more often than not.  

Do any of you ever feel this way?

I wonder if GW. ever feels this way? I always get so nervous for him when he's giving a "speech", that I have to turn off the television mid-way (sometimes sooner) through the thing.

 I think I need to go back to bed at this point...maybe I'll sleep. Goodnight.

Been feelin' queasy for a couple weeks now; along with a little fever here, touch of sore throat there. I just kept goin' to work, thinking it was that sinusitis time of year, and soon the headaches, etc. would pass.

At around 12:30 this morning when I finally lay down in my bed, (lying on my left side) a stabbing pain shot through my inner left ear. The pain eased and then started again. My jaw began to hurt and go numb. My first thought: "oh my god, it's happening; I am having a heart attack!!" It has been a few years since I'd had an ear infection, and the thought of my jaw hurting also, troubled me.

I phoned my mother (she stays up pretty late watching television, or reading) and of course she suggested I go immediately to the emergency room. We hung up, I took my usual dosage of neurontin which I take only at bedtime, and I tried to relax, not really up on the idea of going to the emergency room at such an hour; though I would have "if things had gotten much worse". I know these are the words that can get folks into trouble when they are really having a heart attack. Finally I went to sleep. This morning, I proceeded to the emergency room with my stabbing pains.

I mistook a nasty inner ear infection for a heart attack; however, in my own defense, my biological father had heart problems, as well as my maternal grandmother. My mother has high blood pressure from time to time. I believe in checking things out, at least.

I was given a prescription for Azithromycin  tablets and Antipyrine & Benzocaine drops for my ears. The right ear is beginning to be infected. Lovely!! I won't work tonight because I feel like crap. I am always off work on Saturday and Sunday anyway, unless it is a busy time. Presently, I am sucking down a Dairy Queen Mocha MooLatte' because it seemed like a nice drink to have for taking my first dosage of Azithromycin. Unfortunately, it is probably not the best drink for the health of my heart.

I'm off to bed and outta' here for a while...Hugs.